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<\/a><\/p>\nI had a secular upbringing, my parents told my sisters and I that we didn\u2019t go to church because they wanted us to choose religion for ourselves.\u00a0 Despite no church, our house had Judeo-Christian foundations.\u00a0 We sang a blessing before dinner every night (O the LORD\u2019s been good to me), went to church a few times to see my grandfather sing in the choir, and I spent 2 summers at \u2018Jesus Camp\u2019.\u00a0 Anyway by about high school I solidified my belief in God.\u00a0 The world is just too beautiful and miraculous, there must be a God.<\/p>\n
While I believed in God, I did not do anything about it.\u00a0 I lived for myself and did alright for a while. But I had an irrational aversion to conflict and a tendency to lie.\u00a0 In college, a relationship with a nice, but incompatible girl took these flaws and turned them up to 11.\u00a0 Neither of us was fulfilled but we could not see that.\u00a0 After two years I ended up cheating.\u00a0 And then I lied.\u00a0 My time in college only got darker.\u00a0 The lie split myself in two.\u00a0 I kept up the lie for a year, not that I was convincing, but when the truth is hard denial is easy.\u00a0 It seemed like maintaining the lie was the \u2018right thing to do\u2019.\u00a0 But I couldn\u2019t do the right thing.\u00a0 I drank to disconnect from my life.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t think in these terms then, I was certainly a sinner.\u00a0 But I couldn\u2019t do anything about it.\u00a0 I was too weak.<\/p>\n
Eventually I told the truth.\u00a0 And while it helped, it didn\u2019t solve the problem. This was always going to be a nasty part of me.\u00a0 I conceded that I could only live my future life with discipline and wait for the passage of time to make my past tolerable.\u00a0 I did not know there was anything else out there for a sinner like me.<\/p>\n
After school, I met Kate, my fianc\u00e9.\u00a0 I wondered why God had let someone so good into my life after I had blown it before.\u00a0 She brought me to church.\u00a0 I went with her to find community and a structure for my faith.<\/p>\n
As part of the NSYNC class, I realized there is something else for me at the church \u2013 Jesus and the salvation he offers.\u00a0 In class we reviewed the ways in which we try to deal with our sins: blaming others, doing good deeds, denial, and fatalism.\u00a0 To deal with the darkness from my college years, I had tried every single method, and felt no relief.<\/p>\n
My time in church showed me that these were not my failings alone, everyone will fall short of God\u2019s glory.\u00a0 And it was natural my methods to resolve my sin would fail.\u00a0 I needed to turn to Jesus.\u00a0 By the second or third class, I learned what Jesus\u2019 forgiveness truly means.\u00a0 Before, I thought that He forgave us just because forgiveness is nice.\u00a0 Hearing the true meaning, \u201cFor the wages of sin is death\u201d, but Jesus paid that debt with his own death on the cross and rose again 3 days later in victory over sin, so that we may see \u201cthe gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord\u201d (Romans 6:23<\/a>).\u00a0 I did not have to carry the darkness from my college times and wait for it to fade from my mind (it won\u2019t).\u00a0 I could receive true forgiveness.\u00a0 Once the truth was clear, I was certain that I needed to pray and embrace Jesus.<\/p>\n After praying with David, I felt in my heart that I started a new life, my real life.\u00a0 The burden of sin was not on my shoulders \u2013 I thank God that He still loves sinners like me, and provided a path through Jesus to find salvation and sanctuary from sin.<\/p>\n