{"id":16202,"date":"2025-12-20T07:02:24","date_gmt":"2025-12-20T15:02:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cbcwla.org\/home\/?p=16202"},"modified":"2025-12-20T07:02:24","modified_gmt":"2025-12-20T15:02:24","slug":"god-humbles-my-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cbcwla.org\/home\/blog\/god-humbles-my-heart\/","title":{"rendered":"\u7576\u795e\u8b19\u5351\u6211\u5fc3\uff0c\u91cd\u898b\u7942\u7684\u6190\u61ab"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lillian Hsiao<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Hi everyone, my name is Lillian and I\u2019m currently a senior at USC. <\/span>I grew up in Los Angeles, going to CBCWLA, and believed in God at a very young age. <\/span>However, I\u2019d say it\u2019s been my time in college where I\u2019ve really gotten to understand God\u2019s grace <\/span>and my own sin more. Today, I want to share a recent story of how God brought me to a deeper <\/span>understanding of his mercy.<\/span><\/p>\n

This story takes place in Taiwan where I studied abroad last semester. I\u2019ve always <\/span>wanted to study abroad in Taiwan because I have a lot of extended family there that do not <\/span>know Jesus. I wanted a more long-term chance to share Jesus\u2019 love with them.<\/span><\/p>\n

Before leaving LA, my plan was to be a bold and victorious soldier for Christ. However, <\/span>little did I know that that was not exactly what God had planned for me. Not long after I arrived, I began experiencing some of the most difficult moments of my faith in God.<\/span><\/p>\n

Before Taiwan, a tiny part of me had been questioning the concept of God\u2019s justice <\/span>because someone I cared about deeply seemed to be walking farther and farther away from <\/span>God. This questioning amplified 100 times when I moved across the world, away from the <\/span>distractions of my daily routine and away from my church community for the first time. Being myself was a huge change that affected me emotionally and spiritually, and I began to question <\/span>God in ways I never dared to before. For example, I started feeling that God was unfair, and <\/span>even though I had occasionally thought this before, this time, it really bothered me. It seemed <\/span>unfair that anyone\u2014even people I disliked and even more so the people I loved\u2014 would be <\/span>doomed to an eternity in hell. What sin could be so big? I felt that if I were God, I would be <\/span>merciful and not subject anyone, no matter what they did, to hell.<\/span><\/p>\n

Slowly these thoughts morphed my perspective into one that was centered around ME. I <\/span>saw what was just and loving through my own eyes, and God slowly began to become <\/span>unmerciful, not wholly good, or not even good at all. Many times, I would be walking alone and <\/span>as I saw the unfamiliar faces around me, I would think, \u201cGod, where are you in all of these <\/span>people’s lives?\u201d When I didn\u2019t hear an answer, another wave of frustration would wash over me and I felt more and more distant from God.<\/span><\/p>\n

This kind of thinking continued, coming and going for a while. Sometimes I would be <\/span>encouraged through scripture I read here and there, but I still wasn\u2019t fully convinced. By God\u2019s <\/span>grace, however, towards the end of April, he used a series of different moments to really humble <\/span>my heart.<\/span><\/p>\n

The first one was during one of my walks home, in typical, rainy Taipei weather. That <\/span>day, I was particularly frustrated. “Jesus, where are you in all this?”; I said out loud in <\/span>exasperation. However, this time, even before I finished that thought, another thought rang loud <\/span>and clear: “You. You are supposed to be Jesus” presence in all this.\u201d I paused, surprised because that thought had never occurred to me before in all of my questioning. Immediately, I <\/span>understood that it was a reminder that I am to be God\u2019s tangible presence in this world. <\/span>Although I was complaining that God was not doing anything in the world, He in fact was and <\/span>one aspect of him working is through Christians who are supposed to be his light in the <\/span>darkness. But, even as I recognized that as a reminder from the Holy Spirit, my heart was still <\/span>hardened and in the moment I was not yet humbled.<\/span><\/p>\n

A couple days later, I was still in the mindset that God was not working. I was sitting in <\/span>front of my university\u2019s library with my friend, Joy, and I was telling her about my doubts. I told <\/span>her, \u201cI keep asking for God to show me that he is working and that he desires people to be <\/span>saved but I don\u2019t see enough\u201d. And then, as we got up from the stairs, this random guy that I\u2019ve <\/span>never seen before comes up to my friend and tells her, \u201cHi Joy. Last time you said you went to <\/span>church, right? I want to go to church with you.\u201d In the moment I felt like crying because in the <\/span>past decade of being a Christian, that had never happened to me before. For something like <\/span>that to happen right after I had just told Joy that I felt like God wasn\u2019t working seemed too crazy <\/span>to be a coincidence. I slowly started to feel that even as I still had some doubts and struggles, <\/span>God seemed to be giving me \u201cjust enough\u201d to keep believing in him each day.<\/span><\/p>\n

The last incident that really humbled me was in the beginning of May when I was eating <\/span>breakfast and listening to a sermon. In the sermon, there was a passage from Isaiah 66 which <\/span>said, \u201cThis is what the LORD says: “Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. <\/span>Where is the house you will build for me? Where will my resting place be? <\/span>2 Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?\u201d declares the LORD. <\/span>\u201cThese are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and <\/span>who tremble at my word.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

When I heard this, it really cut to my heart, and I realized that I needed to humble myself. <\/span>If God is the Lord of all creation and the earth is a mere footstool to him and I am a mere speck <\/span>on this earth, how small am I compared to Him? How can I even come before Him and accuse <\/span>him of not being good? Who am I to demand God to prove himself to me? The speaker talked <\/span>about how the Israelites had been crying out to God to answer them, but God\u2019s answer was that <\/span>it wasn\u2019t that he had rejected them first; it was that God had given them his words but they <\/span>rejected Him. In that moment, I realized my sinfulness and my prayer changed from \u201cGod, I <\/span>need you to show me that you are working; why aren\u2019t you answering me\u201d to \u201cGod, you are so <\/span>much greater than me. Please help me to just obey you before I ask you to show me more.\u201d And <\/span>from that prayer, I started feeling this shift in my heart, a shift that I knew could not have come <\/span>by myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

From that day on, I started seeing so many different ways that God had been working in <\/span>the lives of those around me. Instead of thinking, wow, how can God condemn people to <\/span>eternity from him, I started being in awe of how we are condemned already because of our sin <\/span>yet God still gives us life on earth. I started being in awe of how I am so undeserving of God yet <\/span>God has still saved me. Instead of blaming God for how my family members do not believe, I <\/span>started praising him for how he has blessed them with so many good things in their life even in <\/span>their rejection of him. I started praising him for how what I see as impossible is possible in Him.<\/span><\/p>\n

And that is what I want to give thanks to God for and give glory to God for today. Praise <\/span>God for the mercy and grace he has shown us. Praise God for the moments of grace that we <\/span>have in this current life to know Him and to love Him and to love others. Praise God that He is <\/span>the one who sustains us through doubts and trials, and that He is the one who changes our <\/span>hearts. Praise God that if we just lean into humility and ask God for His perspective, He listens <\/span>to us and will open our eyes. For heaven is His throne and earth is His footstool. Has not His <\/span>hand made all these things and so they came into being?<\/span><\/p>\n

Praise be to God. Thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u7576\u795e\u8b19\u5351\u6211\u5fc3\uff0c\u91cd\u898b\u7942\u7684\u6190\u61ab<\/b><\/p>\n

Lillian Hsiao<\/span><\/p>\n

\u6211\u53ebLillian\uff0c\u76ee\u524d\u662fUSC\u7684\u5927\u56db\u5b78\u751f\u3002<\/span><\/p>\n

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