b' Caocould not even get out of mybecause there was no love in bed. I was constantly cryingme. The dreadful loneliness for no reason, sobbing until Iweighedsoheavilyinmy was out of breath, like I waschest as I was constantly re-chokingandsuffocatingonminded by myself that theres myownsorrows.Ilostin- no one who cares about me, terest in art, in reading, notnot even my closest friends even having the strength toorfamilymembersormy take out my laptop to watchboyfriend who was supposed a movie. I was always so fa- to love me! tigued,hungryallthetimeMy life did not get any better but felt immense guilt everyafterIdecidedtotakemy time after I ate. There was nolifeintomyownhands,my faith in me; I did not pray forown orders. The endless sad-a long time, forgot the mean- ness and anger lingered with ing of living that God has be- me every single day; it made stowed upon us, even forgotme hard to breathe. I remem-howmuchJesuslovesmeber one time I had a big ar-56'