Robert Sherman

I thank God that He still loves sinners like me, and provided a path through Jesus to find salvation and sanctuary from sin. 我感謝上帝仍然愛像我這樣的罪人，並透過耶穌為我提供了找到救贖和從罪惡中尋求庇護的道路。

I had a secular upbringing, my parents told my sisters and I that we didn’t go to church because they wanted us to choose religion for ourselves.  Despite no church, our house had Judeo-Christian foundations.  We sang a blessing before dinner every night (O the LORD’s been good to me), went to church a few times to see my grandfather sing in the choir, and I spent 2 summers at ‘Jesus Camp’.  Anyway by about high school I solidified my belief in God.  The world is just too beautiful and miraculous, there must be a God.

While I believed in God, I did not do anything about it.  I lived for myself and did alright for a while. But I had an irrational aversion to conflict and a tendency to lie.  In college, a relationship with a nice, but incompatible girl took these flaws and turned them up to 11.  Neither of us was fulfilled but we could not see that.  After two years I ended up cheating.  And then I lied.  My time in college only got darker.  The lie split myself in two.  I kept up the lie for a year, not that I was convincing, but when the truth is hard denial is easy.  It seemed like maintaining the lie was the ‘right thing to do’.  But I couldn’t do the right thing.  I drank to disconnect from my life.  I didn’t think in these terms then, I was certainly a sinner.  But I couldn’t do anything about it.  I was too weak.

Eventually I told the truth.  And while it helped, it didn’t solve the problem. This was always going to be a nasty part of me.  I conceded that I could only live my future life with discipline and wait for the passage of time to make my past tolerable.  I did not know there was anything else out there for a sinner like me.

After school, I met Kate, my fiancé.  I wondered why God had let someone so good into my life after I had blown it before.  She brought me to church.  I went with her to find community and a structure for my faith.

As part of the NSYNC class, I realized there is something else for me at the church – Jesus and the salvation he offers.  In class we reviewed the ways in which we try to deal with our sins: blaming others, doing good deeds, denial, and fatalism.  To deal with the darkness from my college years, I had tried every single method, and felt no relief.

My time in church showed me that these were not my failings alone, everyone will fall short of God’s glory.  And it was natural my methods to resolve my sin would fail.  I needed to turn to Jesus.  By the second or third class, I learned what Jesus’ forgiveness truly means.  Before, I thought that He forgave us just because forgiveness is nice.  Hearing the true meaning, “For the wages of sin is death”, but Jesus paid that debt with his own death on the cross and rose again 3 days later in victory over sin, so that we may see “the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 6:23).  I did not have to carry the darkness from my college times and wait for it to fade from my mind (it won’t).  I could receive true forgiveness.  Once the truth was clear, I was certain that I needed to pray and embrace Jesus.

After praying with David, I felt in my heart that I started a new life, my real life.  The burden of sin was not on my shoulders – I thank God that He still loves sinners like me, and provided a path through Jesus to find salvation and sanctuary from sin.

以下為中文翻譯版本：

我成長在一個世俗的家庭中，父母告訴我和姊妹們，我們不去教會是因為他們想讓我們自己選擇宗教。 儘管沒有去教會，我們家仍然有著基督教的基礎。 我們每晚飯前都會唱一首謝飯歌（主啊，你對我真好），偶爾去教會看祖父在唱詩班唱歌，我還在「耶穌營」度過了兩個夏天。 到了高中，我堅定了對上帝的信仰。 世界如此美麗而神奇，必定有一位上帝。

雖然我相信上帝，但我並沒有因此有什麼不同的行為。 我為自己而活，也似乎活得不錯。 但我對衝突有一種荒謬的厭惡，也因此有說謊的傾向。 大學時，我和一位很友善但並不合適的女孩交往，這使我的缺點變得更嚴重。 我們彼此並不能互相造就，卻都看不到這一點。 兩年後，我背叛了她，隨後我撒謊。 我的大學生活變得越來越黑暗。 謊言讓我分裂成兩半。 我維持了這個謊言一年，儘管我也很難讓自己信服，但在真相難以接受的時候，否認真相當然更容易。 似乎堅持謊言是「正確的事」，但這讓我做不了正確的事，我只能借酒來逃離生活。 當時我沒有想到，這都是因為我的確是個罪人。 但我無法做些什麼，我太軟弱了。

最終我說出了真相。 雖然這有幫助，但並沒有解決問題。 這將永遠是我內心的一個惡劣部分。 我接受了，我只能用紀律約束自己，等待時間讓我的過去變得可以接受。 我不知道還有其他什麼可以幫助像我這樣的罪人。

畢業後，我遇到了我的未婚妻Kate。 我想知道為什麼上帝在我之前犯錯後還讓這麼好的人進入我的生活。 她帶我去了教會。 我跟她一起去找尋社群和信仰。

作為慕道班課程的一部分，我意識到教會裡有些東西是為我準備的——耶穌和祂提供的救贖。 在課程中，我們回顧了我們處理罪惡的方式：責怪他人、行善、否認和命運。 為了處理我大學時期的黑暗，我嘗試了這每一種方法，都無法讓我釋然。

我在教會的時間讓我明白，這些失敗並非只屬於我一個人，每個人都無法達到上帝的榮耀。 而我解決罪惡的方法自然會失敗，我需要轉向耶穌。 在第二或第三堂課，我了解了耶穌的寬恕真正意味著什麼。 以前，我以為祂寬恕我們只是因為寬恕是件好事。 了解了真正的意義，「罪的工價乃是死」（羅馬書6:23），但耶穌用他自己在十字架上的死亡償還了這個債務，並在三天後復活，戰勝了罪惡，使我們 能看見「但神的恩賜，在我們的主基督耶穌裡乃是永生。」(羅馬書 6:23)。 我不必再背負我大學時期的黑暗，等待它從我的記憶中消退（它不會消退）。 我可以得到真正的寬恕。 一旦真理明晰，我就確信我需要祈禱並接受耶穌。

在與DC一起禱告後，我感覺到我開始了新的生活，我的真實生活。 罪的負擔不再在我肩上——我感謝上帝仍然愛像我這樣的罪人，並透過耶穌為我提供了找到救贖和從罪惡中尋求庇護的道路。