Robert Sherman

I thank God that He still loves sinners like me, and provided a path through Jesus to find salvation and sanctuary from sin. 我感谢上帝仍然爱像我这样的罪人，并透过耶稣为我提供了找到救赎和从罪恶中寻求庇护的道路。

I had a secular upbringing, my parents told my sisters and I that we didn’t go to church because they wanted us to choose religion for ourselves.  Despite no church, our house had Judeo-Christian foundations.  We sang a blessing before dinner every night (O the LORD’s been good to me), went to church a few times to see my grandfather sing in the choir, and I spent 2 summers at ‘Jesus Camp’.  Anyway by about high school I solidified my belief in God.  The world is just too beautiful and miraculous, there must be a God.

While I believed in God, I did not do anything about it.  I lived for myself and did alright for a while. But I had an irrational aversion to conflict and a tendency to lie.  In college, a relationship with a nice, but incompatible girl took these flaws and turned them up to 11.  Neither of us was fulfilled but we could not see that.  After two years I ended up cheating.  And then I lied.  My time in college only got darker.  The lie split myself in two.  I kept up the lie for a year, not that I was convincing, but when the truth is hard denial is easy.  It seemed like maintaining the lie was the ‘right thing to do’.  But I couldn’t do the right thing.  I drank to disconnect from my life.  I didn’t think in these terms then, I was certainly a sinner.  But I couldn’t do anything about it.  I was too weak.

Eventually I told the truth.  And while it helped, it didn’t solve the problem. This was always going to be a nasty part of me.  I conceded that I could only live my future life with discipline and wait for the passage of time to make my past tolerable.  I did not know there was anything else out there for a sinner like me.

After school, I met Kate, my fiancé.  I wondered why God had let someone so good into my life after I had blown it before.  She brought me to church.  I went with her to find community and a structure for my faith.

As part of the NSYNC class, I realized there is something else for me at the church – Jesus and the salvation he offers.  In class we reviewed the ways in which we try to deal with our sins: blaming others, doing good deeds, denial, and fatalism.  To deal with the darkness from my college years, I had tried every single method, and felt no relief.

My time in church showed me that these were not my failings alone, everyone will fall short of God’s glory.  And it was natural my methods to resolve my sin would fail.  I needed to turn to Jesus.  By the second or third class, I learned what Jesus’ forgiveness truly means.  Before, I thought that He forgave us just because forgiveness is nice.  Hearing the true meaning, “For the wages of sin is death”, but Jesus paid that debt with his own death on the cross and rose again 3 days later in victory over sin, so that we may see “the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 6:23).  I did not have to carry the darkness from my college times and wait for it to fade from my mind (it won’t).  I could receive true forgiveness.  Once the truth was clear, I was certain that I needed to pray and embrace Jesus.

After praying with David, I felt in my heart that I started a new life, my real life.  The burden of sin was not on my shoulders – I thank God that He still loves sinners like me, and provided a path through Jesus to find salvation and sanctuary from sin.

以下为中文翻译版本：

我成长在一个世俗的家庭中，父母告诉我和姊妹们，我们不去教会是因为他们想让我们自己选择宗教。 尽管没有去教会，我们家仍然有着基督教的基础。 我们每晚饭前都会唱一首谢饭歌（主啊，你对我真好），偶尔去教会看祖父在唱诗班唱歌，我还在「耶稣营」度过了两个夏天。 到了高中，我坚定了对上帝的信仰。 世界如此美丽而神奇，必定有一位上帝。

虽然我相信上帝，但我并没有因此有什么不同的行为。 我为自己而活，也似乎活得不错。 但我对冲突有一种荒谬的厌恶，也因此有说谎的倾向。 大学时，我和一位很友善但并不合适的女孩交往，这使我的缺点变得更严重。 我们彼此并不能互相造就，却都看不到这一点。 两年后，我背叛了她，随后我撒谎。 我的大学生活变得越来越黑暗。 谎言让我分裂成两半。 我维持了这个谎言一年，尽管我也很难让自己信服，但在真相难以接受的时候，否认真相当然更容易。 似乎坚持谎言是「正确的事」，但这让我做不了正确的事，我只能借酒来逃离生活。 当时我没有想到，这都是因为我的确是个罪人。 但我无法做些什么，我太软弱了。

最终我说出了真相。 虽然这有帮助，但并没有解决问题。 这将永远是我内心的一个恶劣部分。 我接受了，我只能用纪律约束自己，等待时间让我的过去变得可以接受。 我不知道还有其他什么可以帮助像我这样的罪人。

毕业后，我遇到了我的未婚妻Kate。 我想知道为什么上帝在我之前犯错后还让这么好的人进入我的生活。 她带我去了教会。 我跟她一起去找寻社群和信仰。

作为慕道班课程的一部分，我意识到教会里有些东西是为我准备的——耶稣和祂提供的救赎。 在课程中，我们回顾了我们处理罪恶的方式：责怪他人、行善、否认和命运。 为了处理我大学时期的黑暗，我尝试了这每一种方法，都无法让我释然。

我在教会的时间让我明白，这些失败并非只属于我一个人，每个人都无法达到上帝的荣耀。 而我解决罪恶的方法自然会失败，我需要转向耶稣。 在第二或第三堂课，我了解了耶稣的宽恕真正意味着什么。 以前，我以为祂宽恕我们只是因为宽恕是件好事。 了解了真正的意义，「罪的工价乃是死」（罗马书6:23），但耶稣用他自己在十字架上的死亡偿还了这个债务，并在三天后复活，战胜了罪恶，使我们 能看见「但神的恩赐，在我们的主基督耶稣里乃是永生。」(罗马书 6:23)。 我不必再背负我大学时期的黑暗，等待它从我的记忆中消退（它不会消退）。 我可以得到真正的宽恕。 一旦真理明晰，我就确信我需要祈祷并接受耶稣。

在与DC一起祷告后，我感觉到我开始了新的生活，我的真实生活。 罪的负担不再在我肩上——我感谢上帝仍然爱像我这样的罪人，并透过耶稣为我提供了找到救赎和从罪恶中寻求庇护的道路。