Ryan Lee

MY ROLE: Teaching by God’s Grace

This is my first YSMP, and my first mission trip.  I was slated and I fulfilled my role as a Teacher for the adult Apache at White River.  As missions often go, I had to be flexible and many things were thrown at me at the last minute as the Site Leader stepped down and DC stepped up due to an unforeseen emergency surgery right before the mission.

I had my assigned duties of Adult Bible Study Lead Teacher, Small Group Leader, and I led our mission team in a Morning Devotional.  On top of that I also volunteered to create two ad hoc teaching sessions (due to unforeseen circumstances, I was forced to create lessons the night before): an Evangelism class, and an Outdoor Mediation; as well as a Testimony Sharing. The process of creating the material to teach was sheerly by God’s grace.  For example, Christ visited me on a mountain top and the Spirit would inspire me from His first revelation (creation) & then by His second/written revelation (Scripture).

MY SIN & DOUBT: My Affirmation: God’s Grace

As you heard from my sisters and DC before me, the church (both CBC and C3) worked in unity with one another.  We humbly served the Apache community of White River for that week with Bible Studies, cooking classes, basketball camps, crafts, VBS, and a movie night.  We love one another, as Christ loved us, and we loved and reached out to our neighbors.  And by God’s grace, the greatest number of people came to the White River Baptist Church than ever before (per the account of Paula, the pastor’s wife), and the most professions to Christ in recent memory!

But something was bothering me deeply.  Though most people couldn’t tell: I was very distressed and distraught, that in all my teaching, and ad hoc preparation, I was not able to have long standing and continuous contact with the men of the Apache community—something I’m normally good at and love to do.  I say men, specifically, because there is Native custom where men are with men, and women are generally with women publicly.  And it just so happened that in all the events, women outnumber men ~10:1.  So, I was asked to join the women’s small groups because we had more men teachers than Apache men visitors.  Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed working with the women, but there was a cultural gender barrier present.

By the end of YSMP, deep down inside, I felt I was being left out of the major harvest that God had orchestrated because I had not brought a single person to Christ.  I even felt jealous and envious of my brethren who seemed to be doing this so easily and in droves.  I was on the mission field, and I felt like I wasn’t accomplishing the Great Commission.  I was disheartened.

But God did something wonderful on the last day of YSMP.  A Christian married couple who had come to the Adult Bible Study gave me a football ceramic snack dish.  And they said they wanted to give it to me because they thought my teaching was good.  And they gave me their email address so I could send them further lessons I had in the future.  I thanked the couple and praised God for that affirmation.

Soon after, I met with Amare, a 18 year old young man who was a member at White River Baptist Church.  He had interacted with me and sat under some of my teaching.  When he came up to me on the last night, he gave me a Dream Catcher necklace.  I thanked him as well, but asked about the significance of the necklace.  He said it was made by his father when he was a child, and he was to give it to a man that he trusted, when the time came.  And he decided it was me.

I was taken aback.  I immediately felt unworthy of such a gesture, especially since he had known me for such a short time.  But I received it humbly.  And thanked God as well.

It was only later that I connected these last two incidents with one of the late night talks I had with DC, who was my roommate.  DC had just graduated seminary, and I was still studying at Gateway Seminary.  We discussed our plans with hope, in Christ.  And we were discussing 1 Timothy and Titus, the qualifications of being an elder/pastor: husband of one wife, having obedient children, managing his household well, etc.  All these were descriptors to portray the character of the pastor.  However, there is only one requirement that is not a character trait, rather it is a gift/skill: “able to teach.” A specific skill that deacons don’t have to have, though they have to have all the same character traits as an elder.

That was when I realized God’s amazing grace in his affirmation.  I had been battling being left out of the harvest, and having the sin of jealousy and envy during the latter portion of YSMP.  Yet God would still give me His Pardoning grace:  a Christian couple to affirm my “ability to teach,” and Amare, a member of their church to trust in my “character.”  God was using the Native Apache church to say clearly, “Ryan, I pardon you of your sin of envy and jealousy.  And I am emPowering you to be a Pastor/Teacher for my church.  You may not always be able to do the work of the ministry [e.g. harvest, cooking/hospitality]—though it is good you have a heart for it— because I have specifically called you out to equip the saints (Eph. 4:12).”

The last thing I want to point out: I ran to Amare after he left the church premises.  I felt compelled to give him something that was of worth, back to him.  And the most important thing I had was the limited edition Gateway Seminary SF Giants Baseball Cap that I got during my Seminary President’s Retirement Party (my former President was the Chaplain of the Giants, and when he was their Chaplain they won 3 World Series Championships).  And I gave it to Amare, because I saw in him the future spiritual leadership of White River.  The hardest thing about missions is making sure the Natives don’t depend on the missionaries forever.  A missionaries job is NOT done, until (s)he is no longer needed and the native community is raising up their own church leaders.

I’m happy to say Amare is still in contact with me, and he wants to visit LA shortly and see me and DC.  My hope is to show him to Gateway Seminary (where, as God would have it, Gateway also has an Arizona branch as well).

May our missionary work NOT be done until we fully disciple a people; equipping the natives to lead their own churches and be disciple makers themselves;  “to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.  Amen.” (Eph. 3:21)