Ryan H. Lee
“[We do] not grieve like people who have no hope.” (1 Thes. 4:13)
Ryan弟兄在感恩见证会上分享了母亲的信主与离世经历，透过这篇见证，我们看到天父的爱能将悲伤化为盼望，以及神奇妙的恩典和安排，愿这份信心鼓励每一位弟兄姊妹！
Introduction
My mom “suddenly” passed away just last month in October. My mom was a wonderful mother and person. She for a great portion of my (and my siblings’) life raised us up as a single-mom in love, strength, and self sacrifice. She was single-handedly the best role model and mentor I could have asked for (and didn’t fully recognize it until she passed). And for those of us who still have parents—we who are children—if your parents showed you love, recognize that your parents are likely your superheroes, even if you don’t know it now…I’m forever thankful to my mom. I thank God for her.
But my story isn’t about her whole life, rather I’m focusing on the last months of her life, and how much love God showed her. I had the privilege to care of my mom in the last months of her life when Stage 4 Breast Cancer took (not her life), but rather took her to Heaven, directly to Jesus.
God’s Premonition About My Mother
I didn’t know it at the time, but God gave me a premonition—a strong feeling that something was about to happen—regarding the trial I would have caring for my mom and her death. It was during this summer’s YSMP mission trip (an annual mission trip that our church goes to in order to reach out to the Apache Native Americans in Arizona), that I began crying during a normal prayer session at the end of a Bible Study, asking for prayer for my mom. I didn’t fully understand what it meant at the time, because it was July of this year and my mom was still fully independent living in Chicago pretty much by herself. It was later that the pastor’s wife of the White Mountain Apache Baptist Church approach me and spoke/prayed over me saying: “You never know with stage 4 cancer. My mom and other family members have died from cancer. It’s like a rollercoaster: one day they are healthy and fine, the next they maybe close to dying. And then the bounce back. It can be like this for years. And so the day they finally do pass away, your left reeling as it comes a surprise. It blind sides you. Here let me pray for strength for you.” How right she was.
God’s Providence For My Mother
For almost the last 10 years, since I became a Christian, I was worried my about my mom’s salvation. Especially because she had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer 2012, and then thankfully was cancer free—or in remission for 5 years—and then sadly she relapsed into Stage 4 Metastatic Cancer (spread to multiple/many places in her body). Over the years, I would constantly pray, share the gospel to my mom hoping to see transformation, evidence of a deep trust and love for Christ.
I thank God, that just last September my mom made not only a statement to follow Christ (after hearing a sermon about the Cost of following Jesus in Luke 9) but she said that she would step outside of her comfort zone and leave her home in Chicago, her medical team who had taken care of her, and all she was familiar with to follow God and go with me to California. My mom no longer felt peace in Chicago and she was also no longer able to care for herself, and decided that her peace lay in the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ. In fact, she left Chicago almost immediately after yet another of her ever more frequent hospitalizations. Even her own longtime Oncologist was worried for her frailty and ability to travel (she was only 80 lbs and nearly every major organ system had cancer invading).
She also made a statement of faith with an authority I’ve never heard my mom ever say before: “I will follow God to LA, and you [addressing my older sister, Michele] should follow God as well.” Remember this statement of faith, and word to my sister, for it will come up again later in my story.
Once my mom was in LA, by the grace of God, I saw the providence of God for my mom. Initially I mistook these blessings, and thought they were for the extension of my mom’s earthly life. We connected her to a well renowned Oncologist in LA who had many new treatments to offer my mom. Also, miraculously she got all of her insurance from the State covered right when she landed in California. This was miraculous because “legally” she was only supposed to get her insurance the beginning of this month (Nov 1st), she would already have passed by then. It was actually so stressful that myself and my sisters tried to call Senators and Governors to overturn this logistical “rule.” But no one could change it. However, my mom eventually received her insurance by a “fluke accident” when in the mail she received a letter saying all her insurance had been approved Sept 1st even before she had landed in LA! There was no explaining this: this could only be the Providence of God!
Two times my mom went to the ER in LA, and both times it was like parting of the Red Sea! I remember the first time, my mom was severely short of breath and had fluid collecting around her lungs from the cancer. I remember praying for swiftness to get my mom to and through the ER. And when I arrived I drove directly to the door of the ER entrance, and despite the fact that the ER itself was busy, “Luckily” no one else was in the waiting room. My mom received a bed and treatment within minutes! But what’s even crazier, was that when I went back outside to grab something from the car, the waiting room was completely full, and the ER driveway/parking lot was full and had a line of cars waiting. God in His providence parted the Red Sea of people, and found the perfect timing for my mom to go to the ER. I exclaimed to my mom how much God loved her and wanted her to keep on living and fighting.
God’s Providence For Me
I was, of course, only half right. In hindsight, I now saw all of these providences, not as means to extend my mom’s life by a sovereign God; but rather as a way to relieve my mom’s heavy anxieties (appropriate access to doctors, insurance, and to reliable ERs) by a loving Heavenly Father. More than simply making statements of faith to follow Jesus; mom was a child of God! God loved to bless and comfort via His Providence his daughter. She even bore spiritual fruit after her death! If you remember my sister, Michele, and my mom’s prophetic words to her. It came true! My sister indeed “followed God!” But it was only after the death of my mom, and because of my mom. My sister was confronted by my mom’s great love and sacrifice for her (my sister is in a wheelchair and needed her care even when mom was battling Stage 4 Cancer)—and her own difficult relationship with mom—led her to a new and deeper appreciation of Christ’s love and sacrifice for her. I was OVERJOYED in my grief of losing my mom, KNOWING she is with Christ! Therefore, I do “not grieve like people who have no hope.” (1 Thes. 4:13), but instead, by faith, I know my mom has no more pain nor suffering; and now I feel even closer to my mom now than ever, as I get to speak to my mother-in-heaven every time I pray to my Heavenly Father.
In this past month I’ve also reflected, A LOT. And I started to connect a lot of dots. I just received [this] Bible from my two sisters as a gift during this trying time. I wasn’t even able to read my Bible regularly during this time because I had just gone through so much. So, I did something I could by putting in the “Marriages,” “Births,” and “Deaths” Sections. And this is God’s Providence Revealed: My mom’s premonition was during YSMP: it started July 5 (Michele’s Birthday); and ended July 13 (the date of birth of my niece, Matilda who has a unique genetic feature my mom has). And my mom died on Oct 14, 2024 (Indigenous People’s Day – like the Apache people!). God in the Bible often layers His Providences. For example, when I quit my full time job as a doctor to go to seminary three years ago—it was for God and His kingdom first—but by making that decision “the rest” was also provided for me (Mat. 6:33): it allowed time and attention to care for my wife, my son, my mental health, and even 3 years later, to care for my ailing mother at the very end.
Conclusion: Confidence in God’s Providence
So I implore you: as you reach out with the gospel: Do so in the Confidence in God’s Providence. God is with you! And He is working all things for the good (Rm. 8:28)! And in regard for your family, whether it be a prodigal son or an ailing grandparent: They may not be ready to accept the gospel today, tomorrow, or even for years. But you, who are a child of God, but also a parent, a child, or a grandchild; a brother, a sister, or even a cousin—you have a bond and relationship that can stand the test of time. With this precious time, witness with a consistent LIFESTYLE of Holiness that is a testament to God’s power. And as you consistently speak the gospel, in God’s perfect timing, souls will be won from darkness to light, by God’s grace.
So don’t be anxious about if-and-when a loved one will accept the gospel, as I was even until the end. Because if you do, you may fall into the one regret I had in this entire ordeal with my mother’s passing: it was letting my fear and anxiety hinder my tenderness to her. For I found myself encouraging my mom more like a solider as I fought beside her, fighting for life. Which is what she wanted, and what was necessary… I just wished I was more tender to my mom in the end, for I didn’t know my mom was going to pass. And I sorely misread God’s providences as a means for saving my mom’s earthly life.
So the last word I’d like to give you are Jesus’ words when he encouraged his disciples [you] to spread the gospel, He said: “I am with you always” (Mat. 28:20). Therefore, when you speak the gospel in truth and love and tenderness, all of God’s providence, more than that: God himself in Christ is “with you always.” Go, therefore, in confidence, in Christ, and in love to those around you: share Jesus.
以下为中文翻译：
坚信上帝的旨意
「我们不会像没有指望的人一样忧伤。」（帖撒罗尼迦前书 4:13）
Ryan H. Lee
引言
今年十月，我的母亲「突然」去世了。她是一个非常好的人，也是一位伟大的母亲。她一个单亲母亲凭借爱、坚毅的精神和自我牺牲，将我和姊姊妹妹们抚养长大。她是我最好的榜样和导师（直到她去世后，我才完全意识到这一点）。如果你的父母仍健在，如果你的父母向你表达过爱，那么要知道，他们很可能就是你的超级英雄，即使你现在还没有发现。我永远感谢我的母亲，也感谢上帝赐予我这样的母亲。然而，今天的故事并不是为了讲述母亲的一生，而是关于她生命的结束，以及上帝对我母亲的爱和恩典。我有幸在母亲生命的最后几个月中照顾她，直到乳腺癌夺走了她的生命（或许更准确地说，是带她进入了天堂，来到耶稣的身边）。
上帝给我的关于母亲的预感
上帝给了我一个预感——我将照顾我的母亲以及见证她的离世。今年夏天的 YSMP 宣教之旅（我们教会每年旨在接触亚利桑那州阿帕奇印第安人的宣教活动）期间，在一次查经结束后的祷告会中，我忍不住哭泣，请求大家为我的母亲祈祷。我当时并不完全明白这意味着什么，因为在七月的时候，我的母亲仍然在芝加哥一个人生活得很好。
当晚，我在祷告会上提出请求后，白山阿帕奇浸信会的师母对我说：「你永远不知道癌症晚期会怎么发展。我妈妈和几位家人都死于癌症。他们的健康状况就像坐过山车：今天看似完全正常，隔天可能濒临死亡，然后又恢复正常，这种情况可能持续好几年。所以，他们的离去会让你措手不及。让我为你祈祷，祈求你有坚强的信心。」
上帝对我母亲的眷顾
自从成为基督徒，近十年来，我一直担心母亲是否已信主得救，尤其是她在 2012 年被诊断出乳腺癌后。虽然幸运地成功移除了癌细胞，并有过五年的康复期，但不幸的是，癌症后来复发，进入第四期并转移到全身多个部位。多年来，我不断为她祷告，与她分享福音，希望看到她转变，并对基督展现出深切的信任和爱。
我感谢上帝，就在去年九月，我的母亲不仅公开宣告要跟随基督（当时听了一篇有关路加福音第 9 章中跟随耶稣代价的讲道），她甚至决定离开自己的舒适区，搬离芝加哥的家，来到加州与我同住。实际上，我们在她第二次出院后不多久就离开了芝加哥。她的主治肿瘤医生甚至担心她的体弱无法承受长途旅程（当时她只有80磅，几乎所有主要器官都被癌症侵蚀），但她坚定地说：「我要跟随上帝到洛杉矶。」她甚至对我姊姊米歇尔说：「你也应该跟随上帝。」
当母亲到达洛杉矶后，我看到了上帝的眷顾。她奇蹟般地与一位著名的肿瘤专家联系上，还获得了加州的全面医疗保险——尽管按规定她本应在 11 月 1 日才有资格，但她在抵达加州前的 9 月 1 日就已获批。这只能归功于上帝的旨意！
母亲在洛杉矶去过两次急诊室，两次都经历了红海分开一样的神蹟！其中一次，她呼吸急促，肺部周围有积液。我祷告能尽快送她进急诊室。当时我直接将车开到急诊室门口，候诊室里「幸运地」没有其他候诊病人，母亲在几分钟内就得到了床位和治疗！而当我再回到车上拿东西时，候诊室完和急诊室车道/停车场都挤满了人，有一排汽车在排队。上帝按祂的旨意分开了人海，让母亲在最佳时机去到急诊室。我向妈妈感叹上帝多么爱她，希望她继续生活和奋斗。
上帝对我的眷顾
起先我以为，母亲来到洛杉矶前后经历的种种神蹟，是上帝要延长她在今生的生命，现在看来我误解了神在这些祝福背后的心意：其实慈爱的天父透过这些事情，缓解了母亲严重的焦虑，上帝愿意安慰祂的女儿。母亲也不只是发表跟随耶稣的信仰宣言：「我是神的孩子！」 她死后还结了灵果！母亲曾对我姊姊米歇尔说「你也要跟随上帝」，它成真了！我姊姊确实「跟随神」了！而这正是因为母亲。我姊姊坐在轮椅上，而母亲在癌症晚期也一直照顾她，姊姊经历著母亲对她伟大的爱和牺牲，也使她对基督的爱和牺牲有了更新更深的认识。
失去母亲我当然悲伤，但胜过悲伤的是欣喜，因为我知道她与基督在一起！因此，我「不像没有指望的人那样忧伤」（帖撒罗尼迦前书 4:13），相反，凭著信心，我知道母亲不再有痛苦；现在，我感觉比以往任何时候都更接近她，因为每次我向天父祈祷时，都能与我天上的母亲说话。
结语：坚信上帝的旨意
因此，我鼓励你们：当你传播福音时，要坚信上帝的旨意。上帝一直与你同在，并使万事互相效力（罗马书 8:28）。不论你的亲人目前是否准备好接受福音，只要你坚定不移地以圣洁的生活为见证，时机成熟时，他们必因上帝的恩典而转变。愿我们都能以信心、爱心与耶稣基督同在的力量，继续传讲祂的名！
读完有感想？请反馈给[email protected]！
